


Something I Need

by JayDick_Hell



Series: JayDick Fic Event [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Fic Event, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 04:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13709913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayDick_Hell/pseuds/JayDick_Hell
Summary: The Red Hood was a man of confidence and pride. He wore his scars with honor and faced down death with a smirk. Jason Todd, though? He was just a man. A man full of pain and rage and fear. God, did he fear.





	Something I Need

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redbirb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redbirb/gifts).



> The first fic to be completed for the JayDick Fic Event! I'm attempting to keep them under 1k. because I have 25 fics to write and I _really_ don't want to burn myself out lol
> 
> The prompt roulette wheel pulled this for Redbirb: _"I had a dream the other night / about how we only get one life / woke me up right after two / I stayed awake and stared at you so I wouldn’t lose my mind"_
> 
> Catch me on Tumblr: [Jaydick-Hell](http://jaydick-hell.tumblr.com)

The Red Hood was a man of confidence and pride. He wore his scars with honor and faced down death with a smirk. Jason Todd, though? He was just a man. A man full of pain and rage and fear. _God, did he fear._ It dogged his every step, clung to him like a shadow, and whispered to him in his darkest hours. His scars ran so much deeper than his flesh and those ones were the most painful of all. They festered and putrefied, drove him to the brink of madness time and time again. He just wanted it to end. The night terrors, the cackling, the triggers, and most of all, the _fear._ _He just wanted it all to end_.

Jason bolted awake, heart racing almost painfully in his chest and a cold sweat chilling his body. The nightmare remained fresh in his mind as he fought to calm his pulse. The bitter taste of fear lingered on his tongue like bile. Even as he lay there reminding himself that he was alive and far, far away from the Joker, he still had to wipe away tears with trembling hands. Shrieking laughter rang in his brain over and over like a recorder stuck on repeat. It sounded too much like his knell not to send a chill down his spine. Shame went hand in hand with his rising aggravation.

He just felt so...so _broken._ Progress was being made, sure, but it seemed like at a snail's pace. It always felt like he took one step forward and ten steps back. It only intensified that hatred and self-loathing burning in his heart. On the good days, he could shake it off with some effort. But on the bad days, he felt like clawing off his own flesh. Felt like his grave was the preferable place to be. Like he was better off dead after all. Those were the days he could hardly look his family in the eye.

Before he could get stuck in his turmoil, a reassuring hand was placed on his chest, right over his frantic heart. Dick had been pulled from his own sleep due to Jason's nightmare yet again. His shame only intensified. The caring light in Dick's eyes soothed some of the raw aches within him and helped to ease some of his shaking. The acrobat shifted to fully face Jason as he spoke.

"Nightmare?"

He couldn't maintain eye contact when the humiliation burned him like an inferno. Instead, he just clenched his jaw and nodded as he looked at the wall. The hand on his chest moved to his face and gently brought his gaze back to Dick. It was the understanding look he got that made more of his tension unravel. He was reminded that they all carried their scars inside. That even Dick Grayson had to be comforted from the horrors in his head and ghosts of his past more often than not.

"Wanna talk about it?"

It was a soft inquiry with no judgment attached. There were times when Jason wanted nothing more than silence and solitude. His boyfriend always respected those wishes. Then, there were times he took that open ear and spilled all those toxic thoughts poisoning his head. At first, it was hard to trust such a catharsis when everything inside him screamed out that it was a trap and he couldn't lay himself bare and so very vulnerable like that. But as time passed, he grew to appreciate just how genuine Dick was about helping him. It was a sentiment that was returned with equal intensity. He might not be as good with handling emotions as Dick, but he'd be damned if he didn't try. The makings of a grin began to curl his lips. It was a small, fragile thing - barely noticeable at all - but it was there.

"I'll be okay."

His voice was rough with the aftershocks of his night terror. Still, the words rang true _._ Jason might not be okay now. In fact, he won't be okay for a long time. But, he will be someday and that's good enough. In all his blackened thoughts, in that deep and hopeless abyss, one light burned bright and led him home time and time again. That beautiful smile and those brilliant eyes kept his head above rough waters. And Dick's heart? His _love?_ That's what gave him the will to go on. Knowing Dick was on his side, he had the strength to face the monsters that tore him to shreds daily and say _'no more'_. A soft, sleepy kiss was pressed to his lips before Dick curled back up against him. Jason watched him drift back to sleep with a beautiful ache in his chest and for the first time in a long time, he felt no fear.


End file.
